Obsessed.

So far, the only thing keeping me from being completely obsessed and overwhelmed by the wedding, has been pretending that I am not already completely obsessed and overwhelmed by the wedding. I have achieved this by not talking about it on Facebook and not blogging about each day's new infatuation. So far, I feel like only Megan really knows the lengths at which I think about and analyze each idea and detail.  The rest of the people who surround me every day must think, "She's as cool as a cucumber, she must have this all under control!" Oh, but they are wrong.

Saturday was the official three month mark. I'm supposed to have taken my dress for alterations. Pretty sure I'm supposed to have made room blocks at a hotel. I know we should have already been to the tux store. And obviously I should, at the very least, have all of my vendors selected. Oh, but I don't. I don't have any of that done...still a lot to do. So little time. The weekends are my only real time to run around and buy candles and ribbon and all of that stuff. My measly lunch hours are the only time I have to call these 8-5 vendors and try to gather information. I totally see the value of a wedding planner, and believe me...if it was at all possible, I would have hired one in a second! I like being in control of the decisions...I just need someone else to make them happen. I'm also beginning to panic that I will be too busy directing the masses on my day, to really enjoy it and celebrate like I should.

On top of this, add your borderline complete meltdown when I think of my color scheme and wonder if maybe I'm crazy...maybe those colors are going to look HORRIBLE in real life. Sure...I made a million inspiration boards and took 10 months to pick these colors, but now that it's real; like really, really real...what if they are just downright ugly?! I immediately dismiss this thought as crazy, but secretly still feel like it's a great possibility. I'm. Losing. My. Mind.

We spent half the day yesterday registering for wedding gifts. I mistakenly thought that this would be a fun and easy part of the whole wedding process. When I tried to go it alone a couple of weeks ago, I realized it was a lot harder than it looked. So I took Chris for backup and it was still grueling.  It's hard to ask for these things and imagine people spending money on us. We are also in the process of fixing up our home, so many rooms aren't ready for decorating just yet. It's difficult to pick out placemats and napkins for the dining room table you don't yet own in the dining room that is not yet painted. So we didn't. We stuck to the things we knew, and managed to get it done. It may not be perfect, but really...the gifts are the furthest thing from my mind.

We just want people to show up, have fun, and celebrate this awesome day with us. And pretend my color scheme is pretty, even if it's a nightmare. Is that so much to ask?!